Mark Twain
Traced to source
28 quotes we’ve traced to Mark Twain
“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time”
Verified“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well”
Verified“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning”
Verified“The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money”
Verified“Keep Away from People Who Try to Belittle Your Ambitions”
Attributed“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated”
Attributed“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”
Disputed“God created war so that Americans would learn geography”
Disputed“Golf is a good walk spoiled”
Disputed“History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes”
Disputed“I Would Rather Go To Bed With That Woman Stark Naked Than With Ulysses S. Grant in Full Military Regalia”
Disputed“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
Disputed“If voting made any difference, they wouldn't let us do it”
Disputed“If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed”
Disputed“It's Easy to Quit Smoking. I've Done It a Thousand Times”
Disputed“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”
Disputed“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably”
Disputed“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
Disputed“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience”
Disputed“Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated”
Disputed“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog”
Disputed“There Are Only Three Great Cities in the U.S.: New York, San Francisco, and Washington. All the Rest Are Cleveland”
Disputed“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics”
Disputed“Three Weeks to Prepare a Good Impromptu Speech”
Disputed“Too much whiskey is barely enough”
Disputed“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years”
Disputed“When the rich rob the poor it’s called business. When the poor fight back it’s called violence”
Disputed“Whiskey Is for Drinking; Water Is for Fighting Over”
DisputedNot actually Mark Twain
Often misattributed to Mark Twain
Famous lines widely pinned on Mark Twain that we’ve traced to someone else.
“An Exclamation Point Is Like Laughing at Your Own Joke”
actually F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Everybody Talks About the Weather, But Nobody Does Anything About It”
actually Charles Dudley Warner
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”
actually Unknown
“God created war so that Americans would learn geography”
actually Unknown
“Golf is a good walk spoiled”
actually Origin unknown (anonymous, 1890s)
“History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes”
Unknown — misattributed to Mark Twain
“I Have Never Killed Any One, But I Have Read Some Obituary Notices with Great Satisfaction”
actually Clarence Darrow
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education”
actually Grant Allen
“I Would Challenge You To a Battle of Wits, But I See You Are Unarmed”
actually Frank Fay
“I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time”
actually Blaise Pascal
“If voting made any difference, they wouldn't let us do it”
actually Unknown — an anonymous activist slogan
“If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed”
actually Unknown (a late-20th-century coinage)
“It's Easy to Quit Smoking. I've Done It a Thousand Times”
actually Unknown
“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog”
actually Arthur G. Lewis
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
actually Unknown
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”
actually Christian Nestell Bovee
“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably”
actually Unknown
“Most Conversations Are Simply Monologues Delivered in the Presence of a Witness”
actually Margaret Millar
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
actually Nina Potts-Jefferies
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience”
actually Jean Cocteau
“The Climate Is What You Expect; The Weather Is What You Get”
actually Andrew John Herbertson
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco”
actually Unknown — an evolving anonymous joke (ancestor: James Quin)
“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read”
actually Joseph D. Eggleston Jr.
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog”
actually Unknown
“The Professor's Lecture Notes Go Straight to the Students' Lecture Notes”
actually Edwin E. Slosson
“There Are Only Three Great Cities in the U.S.: New York, San Francisco, and Washington. All the Rest Are Cleveland”
actually Unknown
“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics”
actually Unknown
“Too much whiskey is barely enough”
actually Unknown
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover”
actually H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years”
actually Unknown — an anonymous folk aphorism
“When the rich rob the poor it’s called business. When the poor fight back it’s called violence”
actually Unknown
“Whiskey Is for Drinking; Water Is for Fighting Over”
actually Unknown
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt”
actually Susanna Clark & Richard Leigh
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