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Who really said it

Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . .

Written by C. S. Lewis 1898–1963 · British literary scholar, novelist and lay theologian
Verified In copyright

This one is real. It comes from the chapter on friendship — chapter IV — of The Four Loves, published in 1960 and developed from a set of radio talks Lewis recorded in 1958. The sentence as he wrote it begins ‘Friendship, I have said, is born at the moment…’; the version in circulation drops the aside and shifts ‘the’ to ‘that’. The thought, and the famous ‘What! You too?’, are his.

Last verified 5 Sep 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

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Verified quote & credit

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . .” C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (1960), ch. IV. His sentence reads: "Friendship, I have said, is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself...’"

Can you use it?

Still under copyright (rights held by The C. S. Lewis estate and its publishers). A short, credited quote is generally fine for talks, teaching, and internal decks; for commercial, published, or large-scale reuse, get permission.

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In context

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Provenance

The source

Work
The Four Loves
Published
1960
Location
Chapter IV
Origin
Developed from radio talks recorded in 1958

Friendship, I have said, is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…” The Four Loves, ch. IV

This is the sentence as Wikiquote’s sourced section transcribes it. The widely circulated form drops ‘I have said’ and reads ‘at that moment’. Lewis makes the same point a few lines earlier in the chapter: ‘The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”’

Wikiquote: C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (1960)

How we verified this

  • Wikiquote’s sourced section for The Four Loves (1960) carries the sentence and places it in chapter IV: en.wikiquote.org ↗.
  • The same section separately records Lewis’s companion sentence — ‘Friendship arises out of mere companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share…’ — also from chapter IV, which is the passage this line concludes.
  • Wikipedia confirms The Four Loves is a 1960 book by Lewis, based on a set of radio talks from 1958: en.wikipedia.org ↗.
  • Lewis’s dates — born 29 November 1898, died 22 November 1963 — are from his Wikipedia biography: en.wikipedia.org ↗.
In copyright

The Four Loves was first published in 1960, so it is firmly under copyright in the United States and elsewhere; the text is quoted here as a short extract for comment and identification. This is a rights judgement about the book, not a doubt about the attribution — the line is genuinely Lewis’s.

Rights status is our research, not legal advice — and copyright varies by country and edition. For commercial or published use, confirm with the rightsholder. See terms.

Fact-check

Often misattributed

Nobody else is credited with this one. The only thing that has gone wrong is the wording.

C. S. Lewis minor drift

Lewis wrote ‘Friendship, I have said, is born at the moment…’. The popular form drops the aside and reads ‘at that moment’: Wikiquote ↗.

C. S. Lewis genuine, not the origin

Also his, but a different sentence from the same chapter — ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’ The two are often spliced together into a hybrid Lewis never wrote: Wikiquote ↗.

Right author, right book, very slightly wrong words: Wikiquote ↗.

Context

Why it mattered

Lewis is arguing that friendship is not the same as companionship. People thrown together by work or circumstance are companions; friendship begins at the specific moment when one of them discovers the other shares something he thought was his alone.

The reason the line travels is that it names an experience most people have had and had no word for — and it does it in four syllables of dialogue rather than a definition.

What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…

Read the full story

The Four Loves takes its four-way division from Greek — storge (affection), philia (friendship), eros and agape (charity). This sentence sits in the philia chapter.

The book grew out of radio talks Lewis recorded in 1958, which Wikipedia notes were criticised in the United States at the time for their frankness about sex.

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

Friendship Love

Go further

Dig deeper

Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

Wikiquote: C. S. Lewisen.wikiquote.org

Sourced quotations from The Four Loves (1960), including this sentence, placed in chapter IV.
Wikipedia: The Four Lovesen.wikipedia.org

The 1960 book, its four-way scheme, and its origin in 1958 radio talks.
Wikipedia: C. S. Lewisen.wikipedia.org

Biography, with his dates and academic posts at Oxford and Cambridge.
The Four Loves at the Internet Archivearchive.org

Catalogue record for a 1960 edition of the book (lending copy; full text is restricted).

The author

About C. S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis

1898–1963 · British literary scholar, novelist and lay theologian

Clive Staples Lewis held chairs in English literature at Magdalen College, Oxford and then Magdalene College, Cambridge, and wrote across an unusually wide front — medieval scholarship, science fiction, children’s books and Christian apologetics. The Four Loves belongs to the last of those, and is the most systematic thing he wrote about friendship, a subject he thought the modern world had quietly demoted.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

The primary source (Chicago)

Lewis, C. S. The Four Loves. London, 1960, chapter IV.

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ’?” Last verified 5 Sep 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/friendship-is-born-at-that-moment-when-one-man-says-to/

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