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Who really said it

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know

Written by Eleanor Roosevelt
Attribution status: Verified as to author and source — with one word changed in circulation Reuse status: In copyright

This really is Eleanor Roosevelt, and it can be pinned to the day: it is the closing paragraph of her syndicated My Day column of 1 April 1939, written under a Seattle dateline after her daughter Anna came safely through childbirth. One caution — the Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project text ↗ reads “those who live generously,” not “those who love generously,” which is the form every quote site prints.

Last verified 7 Aug 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

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Verified quote & credit

“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who live generously know.” Eleanor Roosevelt, "My Day," April 1, 1939 (United Feature Syndicate). Note: the widely circulated version misquotes "live" as "love." Verified against the Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project, George Washington University.

Can you use it?

Still under copyright (rights held by Estate of Anna Eleanor Roosevelt; original syndication copyright United Feature Syndicate, Inc.). A short, credited quote is generally fine for talks, teaching, and internal decks; for commercial, published, or large-scale reuse, get permission.

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In context

Evoking the world of Eleanor Roosevelt — First Lady of the United States, 1933–1945 · newspaper columnist and UN delegate. Theme: "It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Minimalist

Minimalist editorial slide for the quote "It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know". Clean background, a single muted accent color, generous negative space, subtle paper or linen texture, no literal illustration — let the words carry it. Reserve clear space for a serif quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Provenance

Traced to one dated column

Source
“My Day” syndicated newspaper column
Published
1 April 1939 · dateline “SEATTLE, Friday”
Syndicate
United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
Archive
The Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project, The George Washington University

… there is a price to pay for love, for the more happiness we derive from the existence and companionship of other human beings, the more vulnerable we are when there is any cause for apprehension. It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who live generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell … From the closing paragraph

Transcribed from the Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project’s electronic edition. Note the third-from-last word of the middle sentence: the archive reads live generously. The popular version substitutes love.

“My Day,” 1 April 1939 — Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project

How we traced it

  • Went to the primary archive rather than the quote sites. The Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project’s text of “My Day,” 1 April 1939 ↗ carries the sentence in its final paragraph, under a Seattle dateline, closing a column about the birth of her daughter Anna’s son.
  • Read the same column in the archive’s editorial view ↗, which shows the syndicate line “Copyright, 1939, by United Feature Syndicate, Inc.” and the statement that the text is published under licence from the Estate of Anna Eleanor Roosevelt. It reads “those who live generously” here too.
  • Compared that against what circulates. Wikiquote ↗ features the line at the top of her page with “love generously” and no citation (its My Day section dates the passage to 1 April 1939 — the same column we found — but keeps the altered word); Quote Investigator has no article on it, so there is no specialist finding that supersedes the column.
  • Confirmed the vehicle is a checkable one: My Day ran from 31 December 1935 to 26 September 1962 — six days a week until January 1961, three days a week thereafter — distributed by United Feature Syndicate, so a dated column is a fixed, citable text, not a floating attribution.

Fact-check

Right author, wrong word

This is not a fake Roosevelt quote — it is a real one that picked up a typo somewhere and never shook it off. Three things are worth correcting.

The wording“those who love generously” one word changed

The archive of record reads live, not love. Both the reading text and the editorial view of the column ↗ in the Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project give “the purifying fire which those who live generously know.” Every mass-circulated version we checked prints “love.”

The sourcingQuote aggregators no citation

The line is reproduced everywhere with the author’s name and nothing else. Goodreads ↗ attributes it to Eleanor Roosevelt with no source at all, and Wikiquote ↗ repeats the altered wording in its lead image caption without a source (its My Day entry does date the passage to 1 April 1939, but with the same substituted word). Where the citation is missing, nothing checks the wording; where it is present, nobody followed it.

The occasion“free-standing wisdom about romantic love” context lost

It is routinely reprinted with no setting at all, which invites reading it as advice about romance. In the column itself ↗ it closes a domestic dispatch from Seattle about the arrival of a grandchild, and the point is the vulnerability that comes with caring for anyone at all.

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote it, and we can name the day: My Day, 1 April 1939 ↗. If you quote it, quote it as she wrote it — live generously.

Context

A maxim about courage, written in a maternity ward

Stripped of its origin, the line sounds like counsel from a podium — the sort of thing a stateswoman says about bravery in the abstract. It is nothing of the kind. It is the last paragraph of a newspaper column about a baby.

On the Friday of that week Roosevelt was in Seattle, where her daughter Anna had just given birth. The column opens with relief (“the sun was certainly shining in our world”), runs through the newborn’s broad shoulders and the grandchildren deciding he would be Robin Hood’s Little John, and only at the very end turns the day over in her hands: the more people you love, she writes, the more exposed you are. The courage sentence is the conclusion she draws from a family waiting out a delivery — which is exactly why the closing image is not fire at all, but people who “shut themselves up like clams in a shell.”

It reads like a maxim about bravery. She wrote it the day after her daughter came safely through childbirth.

Why ‘live generously’ is the better sentence

Read in place, the original word is the load-bearing one. The paragraph is not narrowly about romantic love; it is about the whole exposure of caring for other people — and the antithesis Roosevelt reaches for is a shrunken, closed-off existence, “a mere living death.” “Those who live generously” sets up that contrast. “Those who love generously” flattens it into a tautology: love’s pain is known to those who love.

How the swap happened is not documented anywhere we could find, and we make no claim about it. What is documented is that the archive of record reads one way and the aggregators read the other.

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

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Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

The author

About Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt

1884–1962 · First Lady of the United States, 1933–1945 · newspaper columnist and UN delegate

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was the longest-serving First Lady of the United States, holding the role through all four of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s terms, and she went on to chair the United Nations Commission on Human Rights and lead the drafting effort behind the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted in 1948. From 31 December 1935 she also wrote My Day, a syndicated newspaper column that ran six days a week for most of its life and continued until weeks before her death in 1962. That column is why so many Roosevelt quotations are checkable at all: unlike a speech remembered second-hand, every My Day sentence carries a date.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

Primary source

Eleanor Roosevelt, “My Day,” April 1, 1939 (New York: United Feature Syndicate, 1939). Digital text: The Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project, The George Washington University, https://www2.gwu.edu/~erpapers/myday/displaydoc.cfm?_y=1939&_f=md055229.

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know’?” Last verified 7 Aug 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/it-takes-courage-to-love-but-pain-through-love-is-the/

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