Straight from today’s Quotle — here’s who really said it, and the story behind it. Play again

Who really said it

Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away

Written by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik 1826–1887 · English novelist and poet
Verified Free to reuse

From Craik’s novel A Life for a Life (London: Hurst and Blackett, 1859), Vol. II, Chapter III (“Her Story”). We confirmed the passage word for word in the Project Gutenberg transcription of that edition; the popular version differs only in punctuation and drops Craik’s italics on “safe.”

Last verified 1 Nov 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

For presentations

Put it on a slide

Verified quote & credit

“Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away” Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, A Life for a Life, vol. 2, ch. 3 (London: Hurst and Blackett, 1859)

Can you use it?

Free to use, including in commercial and paid presentations — no permission or licence needed.

Image direction — grounded in this quote’s real context; paste into your image tool

In context

Evoking the world of Dinah Maria Mulock Craik — English novelist and poet. Theme: "Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Minimalist

Minimalist editorial slide for the quote "Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away". Clean background, a single muted accent color, generous negative space, subtle paper or linen texture, no literal illustration — let the words carry it. Reserve clear space for a serif quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Provenance

The source

Work
A Life for a Life
Published
London: Hurst and Blackett, 1859 (three volumes)
Location
Vol. II, Chapter III, “Her Story” (numbered Ch. 16 on Wikiquote)
Speaker
Theodora Johnston, narrator of the “Her Story” chapters

Thus ended our little talk: yet it left a pleasant impression. True, the subject was strange enough; my sisters might have been shocked at it; and at my freedom in asking and giving opinions. But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

Somebody must have done a good deal of the winnowing business this afternoon; for in the course of it I gave him as much nonsense as any reasonable man could stand…

The text follows the Project Gutenberg transcription of Vol. II of the 1859 first edition. The italic safe is Craik’s own emphasis. The popular version drops it and adds a comma after “thoughts.”

A Life for a Life, Volume 2 (of 3), Project Gutenberg

How it traveled

  • 1859 — Craik publishes A Life for a Life in three volumes (Hurst and Blackett). The passage appears in Vol. II, Chapter III, “Her Story” (Project Gutenberg transcription ↗).
  • 1936 — According to Wikiquote, the passage was set out as verse under the title “Friendship” in The Best Loved Poems of the American People (Wikiquote ↗).
  • 2009 — A Usenet thread records that web search results credited the passage to George Eliot, to Craik and to an anonymous “Shoshone” source (alt.english.usage ↗).
  • Today — Wikiquote lists the passage as a sourced Craik quotation and notes the George Eliot misattribution. Alex Measday’s “Did George Eliot Write This?” also traces it to Craik’s novel (geonius.com ↗).
Public domain

The passage comes from A Life for a Life, first published in London in 1859 by Hurst and Blackett. Work published before 1931 is in the public domain in the United States.

Rights status is our research, not legal advice — and copyright varies by country and edition. For commercial or published use, confirm with the rightsholder. See terms.

Fact-check

Who else gets the credit

The words are Craik’s, but the passage has been passed around for decades without her name. It has been credited to a more famous Victorian novelist, called folk wisdom, and reprinted as a stand-alone poem.

George Eliot Most common

Wikiquote notes that the passage is misattributed to George Eliot, and Alex Measday’s page on quotes wrongly credited to Eliot says it “was actually written by” Craik (geonius.com ↗; Wikiquote ↗).

“Shoshone” (anonymous Native American saying)

A 2009 Usenet thread lists “Anonymous – Shoshone” among the attributions found online. A 2019 reply says a blog that first gave it to the Shoshone was later corrected (alt.english.usage ↗).

“Old Arab proverb”

In the same thread, a 2019 poster says he found many sites calling it an old Arab proverb but could find no Arabic-language version (alt.english.usage ↗).

A poem called “Friendship”

The passage is prose from a novel. Wikiquote notes it was set out as verse under the title “Friendship” in The Best Loved Poems of the American People (1936), and Measday notes that people who get the author right often credit the wrong source, a poem called “Friendship” (Wikiquote ↗; geonius.com ↗).

Craik wrote it as prose in her 1859 novel A Life for a Life, Vol. II, Chapter III (Project Gutenberg ↗).

Context

Why it mattered

In the novel the line is not a free-standing saying about friendship. Theodora Johnston, who narrates the “Her Story” chapters, is looking back on a Sunday-afternoon talk with a man she trusts. She then jokes that “somebody must have done a good deal of the winnowing business this afternoon.” The chaff-and-grain image is a winnowing metaphor, and the novel carries it into the next sentence.

Measday notes that the “strange subject” of that talk was capital punishment, which the minister had preached against that day (geonius.com ↗). Lifted out of that scene, the passage became one of the most widely shared Victorian lines on friendship, usually without Craik’s name.

Somebody must have done a good deal of the winnowing business this afternoon.

A famous fan

A blog post quoting Christopher Stevens’s biography of the actor Kenneth Williams says this was the quote that most often closed Williams’s letters. Sometimes he wrote it in full and sometimes just “chaff & grain” (jaywilsonmusic.com ↗).

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

Friendship Love Truth

Go further

Dig deeper

Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

A Life for a Life, Vol. 2gutenberg.org

Full text of Vol. II of the 1859 Hurst and Blackett edition; the passage is in Chapter III, “Her Story.”
Dinah Craik on Wikiquoteen.wikiquote.org

Sourced entry under A Life for a Life (1859), Ch. 16, with notes on the 1936 “Friendship” verse version and the George Eliot misattribution.
Did George Eliot Write This?geonius.com

Alex Measday’s check of quotes wrongly credited to Eliot; gives this one to Craik and quotes it in context.
Usenet thread on the attributiongroups.google.com

2009 and 2019 posts recording the Eliot, Shoshone and “Arab proverb” credits and tracing the passage to Craik.
Dinah Craiken.wikipedia.org

Biography; notes that A Life for a Life (1859) was perhaps more widely read at the time than John Halifax, Gentleman.

The real author

About the author

Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

1826–1887 · English novelist and poet

Dinah Maria Craik, born Dinah Maria Mulock and often credited as “Miss Mulock” or “Mrs. Craik,” was an English novelist and poet. She is best remembered for John Halifax, Gentleman (1857). Her next major novel, A Life for a Life (1859), made more money and may have been more widely read in its day.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

Primary source

Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, A Life for a Life, vol. 2 (London: Hurst and Blackett, 1859), chap. 3, “Her Story.”

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away’?” Last verified 1 Nov 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/oh-the-comfort-the-inexpressible-comfort-of-feeling-safe/

Something wrong on this page?

Tell us what’s off. A link helps but isn’t required — “this is the wrong person” is a useful report on its own. Nothing here changes the page directly; it goes to our review queue and a human checks it.

Only used to tell you if we act on your report. We never sell or share it.

Copied