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Who really said it

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?

Written by J. M. Barrie 1860–1937 · Scottish novelist & playwright, creator of Peter Pan
Verified Free to reuse

Barrie wrote this line in his novel The Little White Bird (1902), Chapter IV, “A Night-Piece.” The wording is confirmed verbatim against the primary text; it is frequently paraphrased as “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”

Last verified 10 Jul 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

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“Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?” J. M. Barrie, The Little White Bird (1902), ch. 4

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Provenance

The source

Work
The Little White Bird
Author
J. M. Barrie
First published
1902 (Hodder & Stoughton)
Location
Chapter IV, “A Night-Piece”

And if not an unkindness, still might he not sometimes have been a little kinder? Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?

The narrator watches a young husband leave the house while his wife is in labour, and turns the moment into a general resolution about kindness.

The Little White Bird, Chapter IV (Project Gutenberg)

How we verified this

  • The exact wording is confirmed in the full text of The Little White Bird on Project Gutenberg ↗, Chapter IV.
  • Wikiquote ↗ lists the line in its sourced section for The Little White Bird (1902), Ch. 4, noting the common paraphrase “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”
  • The Little White Bird is the book in which Peter Pan first appeared, later expanded into Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (1906) and the play Peter Pan.
Public domain

The Little White Bird was first published in 1902, well before the 1931 US public-domain cutoff, so the original text—including this line—is in the public domain in the United States.

Fact-check

The wording

The attribution to Barrie is correct, but the line is very often paraphrased, so shortened versions circulate as if they were the original.

“Always be a little kinder than necessary.” paraphrase

This tidied form drops Barrie’s framing (“Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight…”) and his hedge “to try to be.” Even Wikiquote ↗ flags it as the usual paraphrase.

“always try to be a little kinder…” misquote

Many quote sites render the middle clause as “always try to be”; Barrie’s text reads “always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary,” confirmed in the Gutenberg text ↗.

The thought and the words are genuinely Barrie’s, from The Little White Bird (1902), Ch. 4—just read the original passage ↗ for the full wording.

Context

Why it endures

The line sits in a quiet, melancholy passage: Barrie’s narrator watches a young husband leave home while his wife is in labour, and wonders whether he was ever unkind to her. Out of that private moment Barrie draws a public resolution—a “new rule of life” to be kinder than strictly necessary.

The sentiment has had a long afterlife, resurfacing in graduation speeches and, more recently, in R. J. Palacio’s novel Wonder, which helped return the line to wide circulation.

Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

Kindness Growth

Go further

Dig deeper

Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

The Little White Bird (full text)gutenberg.org

Project Gutenberg edition of the 1902 novel; the line is in Chapter IV.
J. M. Barrieen.wikiquote.org

Wikiquote's sourced entry citing the line to The Little White Bird, Ch. 4.
The Little White Bird, Chapter IVonline-literature.com

Alternate readable copy of the chapter containing the passage.
J. M. Barrieen.wikipedia.org

Biography of the Scottish author and dramatist (1860–1937).
The Little White Birden.wikipedia.org

Background on the 1902 novel and its role in the origin of Peter Pan.

The true author

About J. M. Barrie

J. M. Barrie

1860–1937 · Scottish novelist & playwright, creator of Peter Pan

Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860–1937) was a Scottish novelist and dramatist best known for creating Peter Pan. The character first appeared in The Little White Bird (1902), the same reflective, sentimental novel that contains this line about kindness. Barrie later gave the copyright in Peter Pan to Great Ormond Street Hospital for children.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

Primary source — Chicago

J. M. Barrie, The Little White Bird (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1902), ch. 4, “A Night-Piece.”

MLA (9th ed.)

Barrie, J. M. The Little White Bird. Hodder & Stoughton, 1902.

APA (7th ed.)

Barrie, J. M. (1902). The little white bird. Hodder & Stoughton.

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?’?” Last verified 10 Jul 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/shall-we-make-a-new-rule-of-life-from-tonight-always-to-try

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