This exact quip appears in none of the ancient sources for Socrates — not in Plato, Xenophon, or Diogenes Laërtius. It is a modern epigram of unknown authorship: the earliest known printings date only to the 1930s–1950s (a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook that instead credited the wit Sydney Smith), always with a bare “Socrates said” and never a real citation. The closest thing Socrates genuinely said about marriage is Diogenes Laërtius’ report that, asked whether one should marry, he answered “whichever you do you will repent it.”
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher” Misattributed to Socrates. This marriage epigram appears in no ancient source; its earliest known printings date to 1935–1955, one crediting the wit Sydney Smith. — Quotle.info
⚠ The slide-ready mistake: crediting this to Socrates. Use the credit shown above instead.
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Evoking the themes of wisdom and humility. Theme: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.
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Provenance
The source
Status
Misattributed — modern epigram
Claimed author
Socrates (c. 470–399 BC)
Earliest known print
The Golden Book Magazine, July 1935
Genuine parallel
Diogenes Laërtius, Lives II.33
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Widely circulated as Socrates, but appearing in no ancient text; a variant even names Socrates’ wife Xanthippe (“a common scold like my Xanthippe—why then you will become a philosopher”).
Wikiquote files this under “Misattributed” ↗, noting its origin is unknown and its earliest sightings are a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook — none citing an ancient source.
The 1955 Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms assigned the line to Sydney Smith, not Socrates, showing compilers had no fixed attribution — per Wikiquote ↗.
The wording’s true author is unknown: the earliest known appearances are 20th-century (from 1935 onward), and one credits Sydney Smith rather than Socrates. Because the origin of this specific phrasing cannot be tied to any identifiable pre-1931 work, no copyright status can be responsibly asserted.
Rights status is our research, not legal advice — and copyright varies by country and edition. For commercial or published use, confirm with the rightsholder. See terms.
Fact-check
Often misattributed
This is one of the internet’s most-shared “Socrates” lines, but it is a modern joke retrofitted onto an ancient name. No text from antiquity contains it.
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The exact wordingSocrates (as claimed) fabrication
The polished “good wife → happy / bad wife → philosopher” formula is found in no ancient source. Wikiquote lists it under “Misattributed” with “origin unknown” ↗, tracing the earliest known printings only to a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook.
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An alternate creditSydney Smith also unproven
Herbert Prochnow’s Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms (1955) attributed the line to the English wit Sydney Smith (1771–1845), not Socrates — a sign that even mid-century compilers had no settled source, as Wikiquote records ↗.
✓What Socrates is genuinely reported to have said about marriage is far bleaker: asked whether a man should marry, he replied “whichever you do you will repent it ↗” (Diogenes Laërtius, Lives II.33).
Context
Why it mattered
The joke works because it fits the ancient caricature of Socrates as a long-suffering husband. Diogenes Laërtius and Xenophon both dwell on his difficult wife Xanthippe, and Socrates is portrayed as claiming he chose so spirited a partner deliberately — if he could tolerate her, he could get along with anyone. That reputation made him an irresistible magnet for a marriage wisecrack he never actually made.
The modern epigram compresses that lore into a tidy dilemma, but the tidiness is the tell: genuine Socratic sayings survive only in ancient Greek texts, and this one surfaces first in 20th-century English joke collections.
A modern punchline wearing an ancient toga.
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Filed under
More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.
c. 470–399 BC · Athenian philosopher, teacher of Plato
Socrates was an Athenian philosopher who wrote nothing himself; everything attributed to him is secondhand, through his pupils Plato and Xenophon and later compilers such as Diogenes Laërtius. His reputedly difficult marriage to Xanthippe became a stock comic theme in antiquity, which is exactly why later humorists found it so easy to hang marriage jokes on his name. Leaving no texts of his own, he remains one of history’s most misquoted figures.
For writers & researchers
Cite this
Wikiquote: Socrates (Misattributed)
Earliest documented in “Ex Cathedra,” The Golden Book Magazine (July 1935), 97; attributed to Sydney Smith in Herbert V. Prochnow, Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms (New York: Harper, 1955), 190. Not found in any ancient source. Cf. Diogenes Laërtius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers II.33.
This verification page
Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher’?” Last verified 10 Jul 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/by-all-means-marry-if-you-get-a-good-wife-youll-become/