Theme

Wisdom

Insight, judgment, and knowing what matters.

Every quote here is provenance-checked. AI will happily put a fake quote on a beautiful slide — these are the ones you can actually use, with the right name on them.

Ready for your slide

Verified quotes about wisdom

Each is traced to a real source and correctly credited. ✓ Free to use = public domain, cleared for commercial reuse. Open one for a paste-ready credit line and its reuse status.

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing”

Oscar WildeVerified
✓ Free to use

“A little learning is a dangerous thing”

Alexander PopeVerified
✓ Free to use

“A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right”

Thomas PaineVerified
✓ Free to use

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone”

Henry David ThoreauVerified
✓ Free to use

“A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing”

Oscar WildeVerified
✓ Free to use

“A pessimist is one who sees a disaster in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every disaster”

John D. RockefellerVerified
✓ Free to use

“A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business”

A. A. MilneVerified
✓ Free to use

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“A state without the means of some change is without the means of its conservation”

Edmund BurkeVerified
✓ Free to use

“A system must have an aim. Without an aim, there is no system”

W. Edwards DemingVerified
© In copyright

“A teacher, a really good sensei, is never a giver of 'truth'; he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that the student must discover for himself”

Bruce LeeVerified
© In copyright

“A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence”

David HumeVerified
✓ Free to use

“A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart”

Jonathan SwiftVerified
✓ Free to use

“A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain”

Samuel JohnsonVerified
✓ Free to use

“All men by nature desire to know”

AristotleVerified
✓ Free to use

“All warfare is based on deception”

Sun TzuVerified
✓ Free to use

“An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way”

Charles BukowskiVerified
© In copyright

“And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in every thing”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery”

Charles DickensVerified
✓ Free to use

“Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand”

Pablo PicassoVerified
✓ Free to use

“Art, Like Morality, Consists of Drawing the Line Somewhere”

G. K. ChestertonVerified
✓ Free to use

“As the traveler who has once been from home is wiser than he who has never left his own doorstep, so a knowledge of one other culture should sharpen our ability to scrutinize more steadily, to appreciate more lovingly, our own”

Margaret MeadVerified
✓ Free to use

“As to diseases, make a habit of two things — to help, or at least, to do no harm”

HippocratesVerified
✓ Free to use

“Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so”

John Stuart MillVerified
✓ Free to use

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity”

Simone WeilVerified
© In copyright

“Be a philosopher; but, amidst all your philosophy, be still a man”

David HumeVerified
✓ Free to use

“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born”

Nikola TeslaVerified
© In copyright

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence; true friendship is a plant of slow growth”

George WashingtonVerified
✓ Free to use

“Be water, my friend”

Bruce LeeVerified
© In copyright

“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them”

David HumeVerified
✓ Free to use

“Brevity is the soul of wit”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past are certain to miss the future”

John F. KennedyVerified
✓ Free to use

“Custom is a violent and treacherous schoolmistress”

Michel de MontaigneVerified
✓ Free to use

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”

Martin Luther King Jr.Verified
© In copyright

“Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Do not only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine”

Ludwig van BeethovenVerified
✓ Free to use

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway”

Eleanor RooseveltVerified
© In copyright

“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it”

Viktor FranklVerified
© In copyright

“Don't think. Feel. It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory”

Bruce LeeVerified
© In copyright

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd”

VoltaireVerified
✓ Free to use

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is an absurd one”

VoltaireVerified
✓ Free to use

“Every individual is an exception to the rule”

Carl JungVerified
✓ Free to use

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense”

Gertrude SteinVerified
© In copyright

“Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story”

John BarthVerified
© In copyright

“Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait”

Leo TolstoyVerified
✓ Free to use

“Everything harmonizes with me, which is harmonious to thee, O Universe. Nothing for me is too early nor too late, which is in due time for thee. Everything is fruit to me which thy seasons bring, O Nature”

Marcus AureliusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Extreme remedies are very appropriate for extreme diseases”

HippocratesVerified
✓ Free to use

“Fan Ch'ih asked about benevolence. The Master said, 'It is to love all men.'”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Fashion is always a reflection of the times, but it is forgotten if it is foolish”

Coco ChanelVerified
© In copyright

“For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled”

Richard P. FeynmanVerified
✓ Free to use

“Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it so that the other half may reach you”

Kahlil GibranVerified
✓ Free to use

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has”

EpictetusVerified
✓ Free to use

“He knows nothing, and thinks that he knows; I neither know nor think that I know”

Socrates (as recorded by Plato)Verified
✓ Free to use

“He that can have patience can have what he will”

Benjamin FranklinVerified
✓ Free to use

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened”

Lao TzuVerified
© In copyright

“He who learns but does not think, is lost”

ConfuciusVerified
© In copyright

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom”

Thomas JeffersonVerified
✓ Free to use

“I can never decide whether my dreams are the result of my thoughts, or my thoughts the result of my dreams”

D.H. LawrenceVerified
© In copyright

“I don't give advice; I give opinions”

John WoodenVerified
© In copyright

“I fear the Greeks, even when they bring gifts”

VirgilVerified
Rights unverified

“I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear”

Rosa ParksVerified
© In copyright

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail”

Abraham MaslowVerified
© In copyright

“I very frequently get the question: What's going to change in the next 10 years? I almost never get the question: What's not going to change in the next 10 years?”

Jeff BezosVerified
© In copyright

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived”

Henry David ThoreauVerified
✓ Free to use

“I would permit no man, no matter what his colour might be, to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him”

Booker T. WashingtonVerified
✓ Free to use

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties”

Francis BaconVerified
✓ Free to use

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”

Isaac NewtonVerified
✓ Free to use

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles”

Sun TzuVerified
✓ Free to use

“If you live long enough, you'll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you'll be a better person”

Bill ClintonVerified
© In copyright

“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe”

Carl SaganVerified
© In copyright

“If you've been in the game 30 minutes and you don't know who the patsy is, you're the patsy”

Warren BuffettVerified
© In copyright

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks”

John MuirVerified
✓ Free to use

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior; for it is a prince's part to pardon”

Francis BaconVerified
✓ Free to use

“In the short run, the market is a voting machine, but in the long run, it is a weighing machine”

Warren BuffettVerified
© In copyright

“In the woods, we return to reason and faith”

Ralph Waldo EmersonVerified
✓ Free to use

“In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares”

Abraham LincolnVerified
✓ Free to use

“In wildness is the preservation of the world”

Henry David ThoreauVerified
✓ Free to use

“It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well”

René DescartesVerified
© In copyright

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”

Antoine de Saint-ExupéryVerified
© In copyright

“It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent”

Charlie MungerVerified
© In copyright

“Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer”

Rainer Maria RilkeVerified
© In copyright

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall”

Stephen CoveyVerified
© In copyright

“Money is like muck, not good except it be spread”

Francis BaconVerified
✓ Free to use

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”

Stephen CoveyVerified
© In copyright

“Much learning does not teach understanding”

HeraclitusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Myths are public dreams; dreams are private myths”

Joseph CampbellVerified
© In copyright

“Nature to be commanded must be obeyed”

Francis BaconVerified
✓ Free to use

“Never say of anything, I have lost it; but, I have restored it”

EpictetusVerified
✓ Free to use

“No longer talk at all about the kind of man that a good man ought to be, but be such”

Marcus AureliusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves”

Henry David ThoreauVerified
✓ Free to use

“Nothing is ugly as long as it is alive”

Coco ChanelVerified
© In copyright

“Our patience will achieve more than our force”

Edmund BurkeVerified
✓ Free to use

“Painting is poetry which is seen and not heard, and poetry is a painting which is heard but not seen”

Leonardo da VinciVerified
Rights unverified

“Patience, and shuffle the cards”

Miguel de CervantesVerified
✓ Free to use

“People often overestimate what will happen in the next two years and underestimate what will happen in ten”

Bill GatesVerified
© In copyright

“Plans are worthless, but planning is everything”

Dwight D. EisenhowerVerified
✓ Free to use

“Premature optimization is the root of all evil”

Donald KnuthVerified
© In copyright

“Price is what you pay, value is what you get”

Warren BuffettVerified
© In copyright

“Quality comes not from inspection, but from improvement of the production process”

W. Edwards DemingVerified
© In copyright

“Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing”

Warren BuffettVerified
© In copyright

“Science and everyday life cannot and should not be separated”

Rosalind FranklinVerified
© In copyright

“Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech”

PlutarchVerified
✓ Free to use

“Strategy is about making choices, trade-offs; it's about deliberately choosing to be different”

Michael PorterVerified
© In copyright

“Success always obsoletes the very behavior that achieved it”

Peter DruckerVerified
© In copyright

“Such as are thy habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of thy mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts”

Marcus AureliusVerified
✓ Free to use

“That brain of mine is something more than merely mortal, as time will show”

Ada LovelaceVerified
Rights unverified

“That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest”

Henry David ThoreauVerified
✓ Free to use

“The beginning is the most important part of the work”

PlatoVerified
✓ Free to use

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched”

Helen KellerVerified
✓ Free to use

“The best way of avenging thyself is not to become like the wrong-doer”

Marcus AureliusVerified
✓ Free to use

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning”

Mark TwainVerified
✓ Free to use

“The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do”

Michael PorterVerified
© In copyright

“The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone”

George EliotVerified
✓ Free to use

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not”

Blaise PascalVerified
✓ Free to use

“The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind”

Sigmund FreudVerified
© In copyright

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world”

Ludwig WittgensteinVerified
✓ Free to use

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven”

John MiltonVerified
✓ Free to use

“The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind”

Martin Luther King Jr.Verified
© In copyright

“The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it”

Edith WhartonVerified
✓ Free to use

“The perfect is the enemy of the good”

VoltaireVerified
✓ Free to use

“The rarer action is in virtue than in vengeance”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“The real price of every thing, what every thing really costs to the man who wants to acquire it, is the toil and trouble of acquiring it”

Adam SmithVerified
✓ Free to use

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself”

George Bernard ShawVerified
✓ Free to use

“The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom”

Isaac AsimovVerified
© In copyright

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts”

Marcus AureliusVerified
© In copyright

“The stars don't look bigger, but they do look brighter”

Sally RideVerified
© In copyright

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience”

Leo TolstoyVerified
✓ Free to use

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting”

Sun TzuVerified
✓ Free to use

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time”

F. Scott FitzgeraldVerified
© In copyright

“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see”

G.K. ChestertonVerified
© In copyright

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple”

Oscar WildeVerified
✓ Free to use

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

SocratesVerified
✓ Free to use

“The wise find pleasure in water; the virtuous find pleasure in hills”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it”

Edith WhartonVerified
✓ Free to use

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer”

Zora Neale HurstonVerified
© In copyright

“There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved”

Charles DarwinVerified
✓ Free to use

“There is no wealth but life”

John RuskinVerified
✓ Free to use

“There is surely nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency what should not be done at all”

Peter DruckerVerified
© In copyright

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit”

Dorothy ParkerVerified
© In copyright

“They muddy the waters to make them look deep”

Friedrich NietzscheVerified
✓ Free to use

“Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that”

George CarlinVerified
© In copyright

“Think not so much of what thou hast not as of what thou hast: but of the things which thou hast select the best, and then reflect how eagerly they would have been sought, if thou hadst them not”

Marcus AureliusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home”

James JoyceVerified
✓ Free to use

“Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do”

Thomas AquinasVerified
Rights unverified

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind”

Nathaniel HawthorneVerified
✓ Free to use

“To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace”

George WashingtonVerified
✓ Free to use

“Trust, but verify”

Ronald ReaganVerified
✓ Free to use

“We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect”

Aldo LeopoldVerified
© In copyright

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery”

Samuel SmilesVerified
✓ Free to use

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

SenecaVerified
✓ Free to use

“We're made of star stuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself”

Carl SaganVerified
© In copyright

“What brings no benefit to the hive, brings none to the bee”

Marcus AureliusVerified
© In copyright

“What is now proved was once only imagined”

William BlakeVerified
✓ Free to use

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“When the anecdotes and the data disagree, the anecdotes are usually right”

Jeff BezosVerified
© In copyright

“When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe”

John MuirVerified
✓ Free to use

“when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it”

A. A. MilneVerified
✓ Free to use

“When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it — this is knowledge”

ConfuciusVerified
✓ Free to use

“Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent”

Ludwig WittgensteinVerified
✓ Free to use

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”

Carl JungVerified
© In copyright

“Wisdom is the daughter of experience”

Leonardo da VinciVerified
✓ Free to use

“Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast”

William ShakespeareVerified
✓ Free to use

“Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder”

Socrates, as written by PlatoVerified
✓ Free to use

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”

Dale CarnegieVerified
© In copyright

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist”

Indira GandhiVerified
Rights unverified

“You do not know where death awaits you; so be ready for it everywhere”

Seneca the YoungerVerified
✓ Free to use

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”

Kahlil GibranVerified
✓ Free to use

“A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes”

Ludwig WittgensteinAttributed
© In copyright

“Age before beauty. Pearls before swine”

Dorothy ParkerAttributed
Rights unverified

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut”

Ernest HemingwayAttributed
© In copyright

“Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas”

Marie CurieAttributed
Rights unverified

“By the time you know what to do, you're too old to do it”

Ted WilliamsAttributed
© In copyright

“Chance favors the prepared mind”

Louis PasteurAttributed
✓ Free to use

“Character is destiny”

HeraclitusAttributed
✓ Free to use

“Common Sense Is Nothing More Than a Deposit of Prejudices Laid Down in the Mind Before Age Eighteen”

Albert EinsteinAttributed
© In copyright

“Don't find fault, find a remedy”

Henry FordAttributed
Rights unverified

“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance”

Will DurantAttributed
© In copyright

“Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things”

Peter DruckerAttributed
© In copyright

“Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week”

George Bernard ShawAttributed
Rights unverified

“Gold Gets Dug Out of the Ground; Then We Melt It Down, Dig Another Hole, Bury It Again”

Warren BuffettAttributed
Rights unverified

“I do not seek. I find”

Pablo PicassoAttributed
✓ Free to use

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book”

Groucho MarxAttributed
© In copyright

“I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole”

Carl JungAttributed
© In copyright

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception”

Groucho MarxAttributed
© In copyright

“I never get the accountants in before I start up a business. It's done on gut feeling, especially if I can see that they are taking the mickey out of the consumer”

Richard BransonAttributed
Rights unverified

“I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that”

Thomas EdisonAttributed
© In copyright

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude”

Maya AngelouAttributed
© In copyright

“In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous”

AristotleAttributed
Rights unverified

“In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on”

Robert FrostAttributed
© In copyright

“Laugh at what you hold sacred, and still hold it sacred”

Abraham MaslowAttributed
Rights unverified

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”

Søren KierkegaardAttributed
Rights unverified

“Life is short, and Art long; the crisis fleeting; experience perilous, and decision difficult”

HippocratesAttributed
✓ Free to use

“Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering — because you can't take it all in at once”

Audrey HepburnAttributed
Rights unverified

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything”

Rainer Maria RilkeAttributed
Rights unverified

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake”

Napoleon BonaparteAttributed
✓ Free to use

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood”

Marie CurieAttributed
Rights unverified

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance”

ConfuciusAttributed
Rights unverified

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you”

Carl JungAttributed
© In copyright

“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle”

Sun TzuAttributed
✓ Free to use

“The longer I live, the more I am inclined to the belief that this earth is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum”

George Bernard ShawAttributed
✓ Free to use

“The most dangerous phrase in the language is, we've always done it this way”

Grace HopperAttributed
© In copyright

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it”

Marcus AureliusAttributed
Rights unverified

“The way to do is to be”

Lao TzuAttributed
© In copyright

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one”

Marcus AureliusAttributed
Rights unverified

“We are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed”

Thomas FullerAttributed
✓ Free to use

“We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others”

Blaise PascalAttributed
Rights unverified

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself”

Abraham MaslowAttributed
Rights unverified

“What Is Written Without Effort Is In General Read Without Pleasure”

Samuel JohnsonAttributed
✓ Free to use

“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom”

SocratesAttributed
✓ Free to use

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

Jim RohnAttributed
Rights unverified

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks”

Dorothy ParkerAttributed
© In copyright

Don’t get caught out

Commonly shared about wisdom — but misattributed

Popular wisdom lines that get pinned on the wrong name. If you use one, credit it correctly.

“I Understand It Brings You Luck, Whether You Believe in It or Not”

ReallyNiels Bohr · not Albert Einstein

“Education Is What Remains After You Have Forgotten Everything You Learned In School”

ReallyUnknown — anonymous origin · not Albert Einstein

“The Difference Between Stupidity and Genius Is That Genius Has Its Limits”

ReallyAlexandre Dumas fils · not Albert Einstein

“The philosophy of science is as useful to scientists as ornithology is to birds”

ReallyUnknown · not Richard Feynman

“The Climate Is What You Expect; The Weather Is What You Get”

ReallyAndrew John Herbertson · not Mark Twain

“When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats”

ReallyUnknown — an American political maxim · not H. L. Mencken

“I Would Challenge You To a Battle of Wits, But I See You Are Unarmed”

ReallyFrank Fay · not Mark Twain

“For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong”

ReallyH. L. Mencken

“Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across”

ReallyUnknown · not Sun Tzu

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration”

ReallyUnknown · not Nikola Tesla

“Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out”

ReallyWalter Kotschnig · not Carl Sagan

“If we are alone in the Universe, it sure seems like an awful waste of space”

ReallyThomas Carlyle · not Carl Sagan

“A Collision at Sea Can Ruin Your Entire Day”

ReallyW. B. ‘Bill’ Hayler · not Thucydides

“Academic Politics Are So Vicious Because the Stakes Are So Small”

ReallyWallace S. Sayre · not Henry Kissinger

“An Anecdote Is A Revealing Account of an Incident That Never Occurred in the Life of Some Famous Person”

ReallyAnonymous · not Bennett Cerf

“Do You Want Six or Eight Slices of Pizza?”

ReallyUnknown (an unsigned 1965 newspaper joke) · not George Carlin

““I simply can't bear fools” / “Apparently, your mother could””

ReallyAnonymous (in print by 1858) · not Bennett Cerf

“I Wish I Was As Sure of Any One Thing As He is of Everything”

ReallyWilliam Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne · not Benjamin Disraeli