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Who really said it

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares

Written by Abraham Lincoln
Attribution status: Verified Reuse status: Free to reuse

From Lincoln’s letter to Fanny McCullough, written at the Executive Mansion in Washington on 23 December 1862, after her father Lt. Col. William McCullough was killed in Mississippi. The autograph letter signed survives, and the sentence appears in it word for word.

Last verified 4 Aug 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

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“In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares” Abraham Lincoln, letter to Fanny McCullough, 23 December 1862

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In context

Evoking the world of Abraham Lincoln — 16th President of the United States. Theme: "In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

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Provenance

The source

Work
Letter to Fanny McCullough
Written
Executive Mansion, Washington — 23 December 1862
Manuscript
Autograph letter signed (“A. Lincoln”), 1 page, quarto — Shapell Manuscript Foundation
Standard text
Roy P. Basler, ed., The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln

Dear Fanny

It is with deep grief that I learn of the death of your kind and brave Father; and, especially, that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases. In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. the opening of a one-page letter

Text as printed by Abraham Lincoln Online from Basler’s Collected Works; the emphasis is ours.

Autograph letter signed
See the Lincoln manuscript at Shapell
Full text of the letter, from the Collected Works

How we know

Public domain

Lincoln wrote the letter in 1862 and died in 1865; the text is long out of copyright in the United States, and Project Gutenberg carries an early collected edition containing it as “public domain in the USA” ↗. The physical manuscript is privately held by the Shapell Manuscript Foundation, but owning the paper does not restrict the words.

Rights status is our research, not legal advice — and copyright varies by country and edition. For commercial or published use, confirm with the rightsholder. See terms.

Fact-check

What goes wrong with it

For once the famous name is the right one — this really is Lincoln, in his own hand. What gets mangled is the wording and the setting.

WordingQuote aggregators spliced

BrainyQuote runs it as one continuous sentence ending “…it takes them unawares. I have had experience enough to know what I say.” ↗ Those two sentences are not adjacent in the letter — four sentences sit between them — and the page gives no source at all.

WordingEarly printed editions repunctuated

Project Gutenberg’s text of the Lapsley collected edition ↗ prints “In this sad world of ours sorrow comes to all, and to the young it comes with bittered agony because it takes them unawares” — commas dropped, “bitterest” become “bittered” — and opens the letter with “deep regret” where the manuscript text reads “deep grief.”

ContextMotivational reposts unsourced

It circulates as a free-floating aphorism about grief. It was a private note to a named young woman — Shapell, describing the manuscript, calls her “twenty-two year old Fanny McCullough” ↗ — and Lincoln wrote it only because David Davis asked him to ↗.

Not to be confused withThe Bixby letter different letter

Lincoln’s other famous condolence letter is the contested one: scholars have debated whether his secretary John Hay wrote it, and the original has never been found ↗. The McCullough letter has neither problem.

The sentence is Lincoln’s own, written 23 December 1862; the signed manuscript survives, and the standard text reads “…with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares.” Read the whole letter ↗

Context

Why it mattered

William McCullough was the kind of friend Lincoln made on the Illinois circuit: sheriff of McLean County for three terms, then clerk of the circuit court for four, missing an arm from a threshing accident and the sight of one eye from a gun that backfired at a parade ↗. He talked his way into the Fourth Illinois Cavalry anyway, and was killed at Coffeeville, Mississippi, on 5 December 1862 ↗.

His daughter Fanny took it badly enough to frighten people — she shut herself in her room and would neither eat nor sleep. David Davis, a friend to both families, asked Lincoln to write ↗, and he did, in the same grim December the Union army was wrecked at Fredericksburg. What he produced is one page, no rhetoric, no scripture — just a man telling a grieving young woman that she will be happy again, and that she should believe him because he knows.

The older have learned to ever expect it.

How the wording drifted

The version everyone quotes is the manuscript version, which is unusual for a famous line. Basler’s Collected Works text — the one Abraham Lincoln Online prints ↗ — keeps Lincoln’s heavy, breath-marking commas and semicolon exactly as the popular quotation has them.

Earlier collected editions were tidier and less accurate. Project Gutenberg’s text of the Lapsley edition ↗ opens the letter with “deep regret” instead of “deep grief,” strips the punctuation out of the famous sentence, and garbles “bitterest” into “bittered.” If you have ever seen a comma-free version of this line, that family of printings is a plausible ancestor.

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The real author

Who wrote it

Abraham Lincoln

1809–1865 · 16th President of the United States

Abraham Lincoln led the United States through the Civil War and is remembered as much for his prose as his politics — the Gettysburg Address, the second inaugural, and a run of short private letters that do more emotional work in a paragraph than most writers manage in a chapter. He wrote this one by hand as a private condolence, not for publication. His own son Willie had died earlier that same year, which is part of why the letter lands: “I have had experience enough to know what I say.”

For writers & researchers

Cite this

Cite this

Abraham Lincoln to Fanny McCullough, Executive Mansion, Washington, 23 December 1862. Autograph letter signed, Shapell Manuscript Foundation; text as printed in Roy P. Basler, ed., The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln.

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Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares’?” Last verified 4 Aug 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/in-this-sad-world-of-ours-sorrow-comes-to-all-and-to-the/

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