Paige was pitching in the Major Leagues in his late forties when Collier’s ran this, and the magazine knew exactly what it had. Its own advertisement, out on 5 June 1953, led with the question: “How has Satchel Paige managed to outlast the great DiMaggio and so many others who began their careers long after he was an established star?”
The six rules answer it as a joke that is not quite a joke. Five are about the body — fried meats, the stomach, the social ramble. The sixth is about the mind, and it is the one that outlived the other five, because it stopped being advice about ageing and became advice about everything.
Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain’t restful.
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The rules were printed as a sidebar to “Time Ain’t Gonna Mess with Me,” the concluding part of Richard Donovan’s profile “The Fabulous Satchel Paige,” starting on page 54 of the 13 June 1953 Collier’s, with this quotation on page 55.
Quote Investigator notes an older current the rule swims in: the warning against looking back is the story of Lot’s wife, and a 1907 Kansas valedictorian had already told a graduating class that those who stop to look back get overtaken. Paige did not need either. What he added was the menace of leaving the thing behind you unnamed.