Straight from today’s Quotle — here’s who really said it, and the story behind it. Play again

Who really said it

We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are

Not Stephen Covey — an anonymous saying Anonymous Origin unknown · close English matches in print from the early 1800s
Disputed Rights unconfirmed

Quote Investigator traces close English matches back to the early 1800s and concludes that the origin is not known, so the saying “should be labeled anonymous” ↗. Covey’s own book carries a different sentence, and the familiar wording is the one Anaïs Nin printed in 1961 — presenting it, in her character’s voice, as “the talmudic words.”

Last verified 30 Jul 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

For presentations

Put it on a slide

Disputed credit — copy with the correction

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are” Anonymous — not Stephen Covey. Quote Investigator finds close English matches in print from the early 1800s and concludes the origin is unknown; the familiar wording appears in Anaïs Nin's 'Seduction of the Minotaur' (1961), where she presents it as 'the talmudic words'. Covey's own sentence in 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' reads: 'We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it.'

The slide-ready mistake: crediting this to Stephen Covey. Use the credit shown above instead.

Can you use it?

We couldn’t verify where this wording comes from, so there’s no rights status to give. Safe to present as an unverified or anonymous line — just don’t assert a specific author or source.

Image direction — grounded in this quote’s real context; paste into your image tool

In context

Evoking the themes of truth, wisdom and doubt. Theme: "We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Minimalist

Minimalist editorial slide for the quote "We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are". Clean background, a single muted accent color, generous negative space, subtle paper or linen texture, no literal illustration — let the words carry it. Reserve clear space for a serif quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Provenance

Where the familiar wording actually appears

Familiar wording in print
Seduction of the Minotaur
Printed by
Anaïs Nin, 1961 — as “the talmudic words”
Covey’s own sentence
“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it” (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 2004 edition, p. 28)
Origin
Unknown — Quote Investigator labels the saying anonymous

Lillian was reminded of the talmudic words: “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Quoted, not coined

As Quote Investigator transcribes it from the 1961 novel. Note the frame: Nin’s character is recalling a saying, which is why this is best described as a line Nin passed along rather than one she wrote.

Borrowable scan, 1961 edition
Seduction of the Minotaur (1961) at the Internet Archive
Quote Investigator’s full chronology of the saying

The paper trail

The origin of this exact sentence is unknown, so no rights status can honestly be asserted for the wording itself. The close 19th-century matches Quote Investigator documents sit in public-domain texts but are different sentences; the familiar wording is documented in Anaïs Nin’s Seduction of the Minotaur (1961), a work still in copyright, where she presents the line as one she is quoting rather than writing.

Rights status is our research, not legal advice — and copyright varies by country and edition. For commercial or published use, confirm with the rightsholder. See terms.

Fact-check

Four credits, none of them holding up

This is a saying that collects famous names. The one you most likely saw it under is Stephen Covey — but the sentence in Covey’s book is not this sentence, and the line was in English circulation more than a century before he wrote.

Stephen Covey Not his wording

Covey did put the idea in front of millions of readers, but not in these words. Quote Investigator quotes The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it” ↗, and Wikiquote’s Covey page ↗ does not carry the popular wording either.

Anaïs Nin Quoting, not coining

Nin’s 1961 novel is where the familiar wording is documented, but she framed it as a saying being recalled, not authored — which is why Wikiquote keeps it in its Disputed section ↗ rather than among her sourced quotations.

The Talmud (Berakhot 55b) Weak support

Nin called it “the talmudic words,” and a 2005 Newsweek piece pinned it to Rabbi Shemuel ben Nachmani in tractate Berakhot 55b. But Quote Investigator notes that the passage there is concerned with the interpretation of dreams, and states flatly that “the assignment to the Talmud does not have strong support” ↗.

Immanuel Kant Unlocated

The habit predates the internet: an 1876 novel, Henrik Scharling’s Nicolai’s Marriage, already handed “we see things not as they are, but as we are” to Kant. Quote Investigator says plainly that it “has not yet located a version of this maxim in the writings of Kant” ↗.

The honest answer is the unsatisfying one: Quote Investigator concludes that the origin is not known and that the expression “should be labeled anonymous” ↗ — it was circulating in English in the 1800s, long before either famous name was attached to it.

Context

Why this one keeps changing hands

A line this portable needs no author, which is exactly why it keeps acquiring them. It is short, it flatters the reader, and it explains an argument you had last week — so it gets pinned to whichever authority the person quoting it trusts most: a bestselling management guru, a famously quotable diarist, an ancient rabbinic text, a giant of German philosophy. Each credit sounds plausible. None of them is documented.

What the record actually shows is a maxim drifting through English print for well over a century, re-worded slightly by each writer who reaches for it: a sermon, a London newspaper column, a science magazine, an elocution manual, a novel. Anaïs Nin gave it the clean, memorable shape people quote today, and she did so while attributing it to someone else. Covey gave it reach, in words of his own.

Nin was quoting. Covey was paraphrasing. Nobody has found who wrote it.

The chronology, in brief

1801 — Sydney Smith, in a published Oxford sermon: “not as the truth of things is, but as we are ourselves.” 1831 — The Atlas of London, in a piece titled “Things As They Are”: “We cannot see things as they are, for we are compelled by a necessity of nature to see things as we are.”

1876 — Henrik Scharling’s novel Nicolai’s Marriage credits Kant with “we see things not as they are, but as we are.” 1890 — G. T. W. Patrick in The Popular Science Monthly. 1891 — S. S. Curry, The Province of Expression. 1914 — the Jersey Journal. 1931 — H. M. Tomlinson, Out of Soundings.

1961 — Anaïs Nin, Seduction of the Minotaur, with the wording that stuck. 2004 — the edition of Covey’s 7 Habits that Quote Investigator cites, carrying its own different sentence. Every item above is drawn from Quote Investigator’s chronology ↗.

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

Truth Wisdom Doubt

Go further

Dig deeper

Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

Quote Origin: We Don't See Things As They Are, We See Them As We Arequoteinvestigator.com

The anchor investigation: dated citations from 1801 to 2004, the Nin and Covey wordings side by side, and the conclusion that the saying is anonymous.
Anaïs Nin — Disputed quotationsen.wikiquote.org

Files this wording under Disputed, citing The Seduction of the Minotaur (1961) and tracing how it became a 'Talmud' quotation.
Seduction of the Minotaur (1961)archive.org

Catalogue record and borrowable scan of the 1961 edition of Nin's novel where the familiar wording appears.
S. S. Curry, The Province of Expression (1891)archive.org

Free full public-domain scan of one of the 19th-century books in Quote Investigator's chronology of the maxim.
Anaïs Ninen.wikipedia.org

Biography: 21 February 1903 – 14 January 1977, French-born American diarist, essayist and novelist.
Stephen R. Coveyen.wikipedia.org

Biography of the man usually credited; confirms The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People first appeared in 1989, and never mentions this line.

The writer who put the wording in print

Anaïs Nin didn’t claim it either

Anaïs Nin

1903–1977 · French-born American diarist and novelist

Anaïs Nin was a French-born American diarist, essayist and novelist, best known for the decades of published journals that made her one of the twentieth century’s most quoted writers. Her 1961 novel Seduction of the Minotaur contains the sentence in the form the internet now repeats — but she gave it to a character as a remembered saying, expressly crediting the Talmud rather than herself. She is the reason this wording spread, not the reason it exists; Quote Investigator finds close English matches in print more than a century before her.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

How to cite this

Anonymous saying. Close English matches in print from the early 1800s (Sydney Smith, published sermon, 1801; “Things As They Are,” The Atlas, London, 1831); the familiar wording in Anaïs Nin, Seduction of the Minotaur (1961). Chronology and conclusion per Quote Investigator, “Quote Origin: We Don’t See Things As They Are, We See Them As We Are,” 9 March 2014.

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are’?” Last verified 30 Jul 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/we-dont-see-things-as-they-are-we-see-them-as-we-are/

Something wrong on this page?

Tell us what’s off. A link helps but isn’t required — “this is the wrong person” is a useful report on its own. Nothing here changes the page directly; it goes to our review queue and a human checks it.

Only used to tell you if we act on your report. We never sell or share it.

Copied