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Who really said it

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher

Not Socrates — a modern witticism Socrates c. 470–399 BC · Athenian philosopher
Disputed Rights unconfirmed

This exact quip appears in none of the ancient sources for Socrates — not in Plato, Xenophon, or Diogenes Laërtius. It is a modern epigram of unknown authorship: the earliest known printings date only to the 1930s–1950s (a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook that instead credited the wit Sydney Smith), always with a bare “Socrates said” and never a real citation. The closest thing Socrates genuinely said about marriage is Diogenes Laërtius’ report that, asked whether one should marry, he answered “whichever you do you will repent it.”

Last verified 10 Jul 2026 · how we verify · spot an error?

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Disputed — copy with the correction

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher” Misattributed to Socrates. This marriage epigram appears in no ancient source; its earliest known printings date to 1935–1955, one crediting the wit Sydney Smith. — Quotle.info

The slide-ready mistake: crediting this to Socrates. Use the credit shown above instead.

Can you use it?

We couldn’t verify where this wording comes from, so there’s no rights status to give. Safe to present as an unverified or anonymous line — just don’t assert a specific author or source.

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In context

Evoking the world of Socrates — Athenian philosopher, teacher of Plato. Theme: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher". Atmospheric and restrained, cinematic directional light, a muted period-appropriate palette, fine grain and texture. Compose with generous empty space for the quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Minimalist

Minimalist editorial slide for the quote "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher". Clean background, a single muted accent color, generous negative space, subtle paper or linen texture, no literal illustration — let the words carry it. Reserve clear space for a serif quote and a small credit line. No lettering in the image itself.

Provenance

The source

Status
Misattributed — modern epigram
Claimed author
Socrates (c. 470–399 BC)
Earliest known print
The Golden Book Magazine, July 1935
Genuine parallel
Diogenes Laërtius, Lives II.33

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Widely circulated as Socrates, but appearing in no ancient text; a variant even names Socrates’ wife Xanthippe (“a common scold like my Xanthippe—why then you will become a philosopher”).

Wikiquote: Socrates — Misattributed

How we verified this

  • Wikiquote files this under “Misattributed” ↗, noting its origin is unknown and its earliest sightings are a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook — none citing an ancient source.
  • The 1955 Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms assigned the line to Sydney Smith, not Socrates, showing compilers had no fixed attribution — per Wikiquote ↗.
  • Socrates’ only genuinely-documented marriage aphorism is the gloomier “whichever you do you will repent it ↗” in Diogenes Laërtius.

The wording’s true author is unknown: the earliest known appearances are 20th-century (from 1935 onward), and one credits Sydney Smith rather than Socrates. Because the origin of this specific phrasing cannot be tied to any identifiable pre-1931 work, no copyright status can be responsibly asserted.

Fact-check

Often misattributed

This is one of the internet’s most-shared “Socrates” lines, but it is a modern joke retrofitted onto an ancient name. No text from antiquity contains it.

Socrates (as claimed) fabrication

The polished “good wife → happy / bad wife → philosopher” formula is found in no ancient source. Wikiquote lists it under “Misattributed” with “origin unknown” ↗, tracing the earliest known printings only to a 1935 magazine, a 1949 book, and a 1955 handbook.

Sydney Smith also unproven

Herbert Prochnow’s Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms (1955) attributed the line to the English wit Sydney Smith (1771–1845), not Socrates — a sign that even mid-century compilers had no settled source, as Wikiquote records ↗.

What Socrates is genuinely reported to have said about marriage is far bleaker: asked whether a man should marry, he replied “whichever you do you will repent it ↗” (Diogenes Laërtius, Lives II.33).

Context

Why it mattered

The joke works because it fits the ancient caricature of Socrates as a long-suffering husband. Diogenes Laërtius and Xenophon both dwell on his difficult wife Xanthippe, and Socrates is portrayed as claiming he chose so spirited a partner deliberately — if he could tolerate her, he could get along with anyone. That reputation made him an irresistible magnet for a marriage wisecrack he never actually made.

The modern epigram compresses that lore into a tidy dilemma, but the tidiness is the tell: genuine Socratic sayings survive only in ancient Greek texts, and this one surfaces first in 20th-century English joke collections.

A modern punchline wearing an ancient toga.

Explore

Filed under

More provenance-checked quotes on the same theme, each with its reuse status.

Wisdom Humility

Go further

Dig deeper

Trusted places to keep pulling the thread — primary archives, fact-checks, and scholarship. We show how we used each one before you leave.

Socrates — Misattributed quotationsen.wikiquote.org

Files this line under Misattributed with origin unknown and its earliest 1935/1949/1955 print sightings.
Diogenes Laërtiusen.wikiquote.org

Source of Socrates' genuine marriage aphorism, 'whichever you do you will repent it.'
Socrates' 'Advice' to Married Peoplegreecehighdefinition.com

Discusses the apocryphal marriage quote against what ancient sources actually say about Socrates and Xanthippe.
Fake and Misattributed Ancient Quotestalesoftimesforgotten.com

Classics-literate survey of quotations wrongly pinned on ancient figures like Socrates.
Socratesen.wikipedia.org

Background on Socrates, who wrote nothing himself, and the secondhand sources for his words.

The author

About Socrates

Socrates

c. 470–399 BC · Athenian philosopher, teacher of Plato

Socrates was an Athenian philosopher who wrote nothing himself; everything attributed to him is secondhand, through his pupils Plato and Xenophon and later compilers such as Diogenes Laërtius. His reputedly difficult marriage to Xanthippe became a stock comic theme in antiquity, which is exactly why later humorists found it so easy to hang marriage jokes on his name. Leaving no texts of his own, he remains one of history’s most misquoted figures.

For writers & researchers

Cite this

Wikiquote: Socrates (Misattributed)

Earliest documented in “Ex Cathedra,” The Golden Book Magazine (July 1935), 97; attributed to Sydney Smith in Herbert V. Prochnow, Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms (New York: Harper, 1955), 190. Not found in any ancient source. Cf. Diogenes Laërtius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers II.33.

This verification page

Quotle.info. “Who really said ‘By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher’?” Last verified 10 Jul 2026. https://quotle.info/who-said/by-all-means-marry-if-you-get-a-good-wife-youll-become

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